Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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