Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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