I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize