It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
