She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
