I cockslap morals
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
