She is in my trunk
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
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