I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
