Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
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