You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize