...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
