Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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