I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
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