For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
