Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
