so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
