they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize