i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
