People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
