can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Randomize
