just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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