...so i touched it.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
