he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
