dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
