yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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