I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
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