I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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