Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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