Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
She needs sedatives and a leash
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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