I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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