hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
True but thats because hes a fetus.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
