girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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