Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
