forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
