She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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