The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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