I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize