Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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