mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Randomize