the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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