To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
