Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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