I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Randomize
