Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
