I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
