Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low http://tfl.nu/h0oa
  Replies (7) Good night (658) Bad night (1153)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (408): i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked. http://tfl.nu/0z4b
  Replies (12) Good night (3412) Bad night (532)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (920): good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs. http://tfl.nu/xjrr
  Replies (37) Good night (3631) Bad night (1110)
• Favorite

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories

  (239): View more from Florida

  He could rock you to sleep

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (321): I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories (239): He could rock you to sleep http://tfl.nu/6xlx
  Replies (28) Good night (3945) Bad night (1111)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (216): I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips. http://tfl.nu/1ir1
  Replies (10) Good night (6212) Bad night (820)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (785): I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well. http://tfl.nu/l51l
  Replies (3) Good night (5758) Bad night (798)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night. http://tfl.nu/ytoh
  Replies (8) Good night (3940) Bad night (740)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (954): malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away http://tfl.nu/rorw
  Replies (10) Good night (3570) Bad night (970)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming. http://tfl.nu/u6dn
  Replies (7) Good night (4117) Bad night (981)
• Favorite

  (+27): View more from South Africa

  i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+27): i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please http://tfl.nu/h9fq
  Replies (3) Good night (772) Bad night (1254)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult? http://tfl.nu/q3fi
  Replies (22) Good night (618) Bad night (3197)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.

  (1-612): View more from Minnesota

  I will rub McFlurries all over you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved. (1-612): I will rub McFlurries all over you. http://tfl.nu/lnlf
  Replies (8) Good night (1580) Bad night (587)
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (661): I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love. http://tfl.nu/wt93
  Replies (8) Good night (922) Bad night (631)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (540): Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back http://tfl.nu/kuz3
  Replies (3) Good night (695) Bad night (345)
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (316): I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry. http://tfl.nu/w045
  Replies (3) Good night (675) Bad night (395)

Randomize