Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.

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(734): View more from Michigan

i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.

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(716): View more from New York

do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth

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21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(516): View more from New York

he has the hands of the vagina gods.

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(443): View more from Maryland

Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.

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(206): View more from Washington

And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music

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(843): View more from South Carolina

My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.

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