I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.