My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??