Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.