This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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