I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize