We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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