Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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