remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
we made out on top of his cat.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
