you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Define "chronic" masturbator.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
