I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Did I show you my penis last night?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
