similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Randomize
