Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Pooping to opera.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize